I make tough decisions. It does not mean that I do not feel the pain of the decision. I hurt, I feel pain and I suffer from the fall out. I make the decisions that no one else wants to make even though the need for it is staring us all in the face.
I make decisions based on what I know and what has happened. I look at the past, and ask myself if this is the future that I want.
I make decisions based on the future state that I want. I extrapolate the past to establish possible future outcomes as the basis of the decisions. If the current situation does not lead to a future that I want then then I need to change the present. I weigh the outcomes and take the path that leads me closest to the future that I want.
When my decisions involve other people I brace myself for the fall out and the pain that will follow. Volunteering the change does not make me immune to the effects. I am human; as human as you.
I know that pain is temporary. I know that pain is part of the change process and I accept this. To change I have to grow, to grow I have to stretch, to stretch brings pain. I reject the status quo and its comfort as I set new sights. There are so many unknown variables that I am scared. What If I am wrong? What if it does not get better? What if I made the wrong choice?
And I know that the “what ifs” serve no purpose because I have no choice. I have to make a new decision because the present will not get me to the desired future. I have to make a change.