What is the fear that I have around these 50 blogs? The fear around the blog is really how much it will reveal of me. In 50 days there will be a lot of me left on the net which is a forever and ever thing. I know that as I become more relaxed with the process of blogging, I will probably share more of myself as the days go by. Yikes! That scares me.
There is a fear around revealing myself, letting people in behind the veil to share what I truly think and what makes me tick. I grew up hearing “don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” which I translated as there are parts of myself that I do not reveal. That is why in my first book – Change or Die – The Business Process Improvement Manual – I focussed on what I have done without revealing what I think. I wrote about my experiences and what worked for me which is clinical and therefore very safe.
When I started writing “Lead Your Team To Win” I took a risk and put more of myself in that book. Yet, while “Lead Your Team To Win” reveals my thoughts about leadership and managing teams, it is about one aspect of my life therefore fairly contained and still safe.
These blogs are not specific, they are random thoughts about whatever is going on in my head and heart. I have a lot going on in my life and I know that the next 50 days will be ripe with decisions, choices and the emotions around those decisions.
“What is the point of hiding what I think, where I am struggling, failing and succeeding?” I ask myself. “What is the point of pretending that life is a Facebook post, in which my “awesome” life is on display when in reality every day is not like that?”
I know that when I put stuff out, it’s in the open – open to scrutiny, open for discussion and open to the “dreaded” other people’s opinions. It is a risk, a huge risk, yet at this time I am going to show myself. No more hiding, no more safety. I am going to remove the veil and share about Maxine Attong. I exist as part of this world and I will share my opinions and thoughts and leave them forever as part of the landscape. Still scared, because who knows what tomorrow will bring and what I say.
What are you hiding from the rest of the world? What will it take for you to show us yourself?