Homeward Bound – Day 20, Blog 20

Today I start my journey home and I am in a reflective mood.  I am thinking about what took me away from my home, the interactions that I have had in the time that I was away, the opportunities and the disappointments.

My daily life feels a world away.  I have squished so many experiences during the time away that I wonder if they can all fit into my life. I have cemented relationships, understood my family a little more, explored Washington, been provoked by some opportunities and faced the truth of my current situation.

And now I take all of this home with me.

I have mixed feelings about going home.  There is am impatience to get home, to clean the house to bring order to my daily life and settle back into the routine.  There are bills to pay, fees to renew, commitments to follow up on and groups to reengage with.

There is growing anxiety about going home.  I am not picking up all the pieces of my life.  I am ready to cut bits loose and toss them. I have decisions to implement; some of which involve other people and there will be a period of adjustment.  There are conversations to be had, actions to be taken; not all of it pleasant.

I am reconciled and now I need to act.  The need to be nice, the trying to help, the understanding the other person’s limitations and needs have all been front and center of not taking action.  Now that is over and I need to be nice to me, I need to help myself get over my limitations and put my needs first.  

Simple.  Going home resolved.  Going home to resolve.  Going home to bring resolution.

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