Today I met with the owner of a cleaning service. I want him and his crew to give the house a top to bottom clean, a nook and cranny service, after which I can eat off the floor. As we walked around the house he took notes, then we booked next Saturday for the service.
As I walked with him, I too took note of all the things that I need to throw away or donate to charity. I noted all the things that I no longer want, those that are beyond their expiry date and all the things that are taking up space.
I am not a neat person, I tend to live on the edge of untidy. I argue that my life is so structured that I can afford a bit of chaos to keep me balanced. Hence I am sharply aware that this as an unnatural deviation. I am in this strange place where I need to be uncluttered, to remove extras, to excise, to dump, to clear and to clean. I have an impatience with the old, the useless, and the no longer fit for purpose items. There is no time to second guess, no time to wonder, and no time to complain. I am desperate with the urgency to toss things out.
I want the house to be empty, light and free. I want to change things around as I carefully selecting the items that remain. I want to marvel at the space as it shines and I want to keep it that way.
I know instinctively that this is not just about the house. It is another manifestation of where I am and what is becoming important in my life. I have no idea where this is going and I am not worried. Strangely, I have no game plan or end in sight and absolutely no anxiety.
The fire in my belly is demanding change and newness. It is using the useless in its path to get to where it wants to be. The fire is raging, growing and will consume what ever stands in its way.
I have disengaged my mind, listening only to the roar in my belly, feeding it as it desires. With mounting curiosity I am following where it leads.
I spend tonight in the toss-and-dump zone.
What needs tossing out in your life?