This morning I am up early, excited and nervous. An interior decorator will come over later today to begin a relationship, with me and my space. This is really new for me. I have never been a house person. I tend to be happy once all my appliances and fixtures are functioning well and the utilities are on. Other than that, my interest in house furnishings does not go beyond how difficult they are to clean.
I always marvel when I enter into other people’s spaces and see their well coordinated abodes with beautiful decorations and center pieces. Sometimes I feel unsettled since I have to reconcile the space with the person whom I know. I tend to be quiet and take it all in as I try to find the person in the things in the house. Sometimes it happens, other times it doesn’t.
It often feels like collectively we have all bought into the things that HGTV and the decorating magazines have told us about a living space. Now everyone has a center and side tables angled just so, with beautiful decorations on it. We have color schemes, drapes, knick knacks and more and more stuff, that we never touch unless to clean.
Even as I say and believe this, I know that my space is another place in my life that I have been resisting conformity. I know that I am holding on to adolescence by keeping my space to traditional bachelor standards with the minimum requirements. I have refused for a long time to adultify, to beautify, to HGTV, to bring some style to my space.
Why am I doing it now? I feel right now that I want beauty in my life. I want to wake up everyday to a space that reflects the way that I feel inside. I want my space to support me on the days when I don’t feel like getting up. I want a space that I can draw inspiration from and makes it easy to remind myself of who I am when I feel doubtful.
I want a space that looks like me when I am at my best and and makes it easy for me to look and feel the way that I want to look and feel every day. As I am changing I want my space to change with me. This is another way for me to get aligned, another way for me to express who I am and another way for me to limit dissonance in my life.
Today I am taking the plunge and getting someone to prod me along to the space that I want to be in.
Today my intention is to keep the me-ness of my space. I will work with the designer to get her professional touch and collaborate with her to create that space.
How does your space reflect you? What needs to change for your space to be more reflective of you?