Two Years Is a Long Time – Blog 83

Two years ago when Change Or Die was published I received a Linked In invitation from a guy with a pretty impressive resume and Ivy League MBA.  I was intrigued by him, but when we met face to face, he rubbed me the wrong way and I swore that I would never work with him.

Two years later he calls me and says, “ I want to use you to facilitate a team building workshop for my client.”  My ears perked up at the word “use” yet I said; “Sure, let’s meet and chat.”

Two years has been a long time for me and a lot has changed in the way that I view the world and how I think the world views me. Back then I would have been pissed at the word use, and would have corrected him, “You mean that you would like to work with me.”  Now I know that the word has nothing to do with me.  It is how the man expresses himself and perhaps how he feels about people.  Now I don’t take it personally since the word has nothing to do with me because he can only use me if I sign up to be used.

After meeting with him today, I said yes to co-facilitating a team building workshop. I see this as a learning experience since I have never co-facilitated a workshop and I am intrigued to see how our different styles show up.  I intend to be in full learning mode on Saturday, as I learn about myself and how I work with a person like this.

As I drove home tonight I reflected on how I moved from saying Never to Yes.

I am not going to be his bosom buddy, but I have a greater appreciation of the frames that he is operating from and how differently we see the world.   I have no fear if he thinks that he is using me or that he will steal the games or activities that I bring to the table on Saturday.  I sincerely believe that he can take what he wants and I will still be in tact. After all, I learned what I know from others and it is with joy that I pass on what I have learned.

Today I was proud of myself that I was able to recognize difference, not judge the difference and commit to work with someone despite the difference.

Who do you have trouble working with because they are different from you?  What do you need to change?


2 thoughts on “Two Years Is a Long Time – Blog 83

  1. Yes, that is an example of self-awareness! Thanks for sharing! Semantics!

    As a trainer, when people would yawn during my session, I would be concerned about whether it was getting boring. Last week I was at a lecture that was truly fascinating — three hour — with two breaks. I did yawn at one point and I noticed the person who was delivering the lecture saw me yawn. I’m hoping that she didn’t get overly concerned or spend too much time on the “meaning” of my yawn. Maybe I just needed a little more oxygen? 🙂


  2. Connie, so good of you to share. I am learning to observe and not be too quick to rush to making meaning. Use is just a verb and a yawn is an open out exchanging air.


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