Bullies are with us

I have been angry for the past few days. As I denied the anger, I could not write. My writing hates lies, so when I am in denial, or want to pretend that I am too cool to anger, my fingers refuse to contact the keyboard, my mind wanders off and no blogging occurs. Now that I am in right relations with myself, all parts are engaged and I can make contact with the keyboard. It’s just the way it works for me. When I show up to write, I better think right, and come from a place of truth or no go.
I was angry because there is a bully in my playground and no-one wants to curtail him. The bully has not approached me, he picks on the more vulnerable, the people with more to lose and he smiles as he promises that this is not victimisation. He smiles as he shares his messages, leaving the person bewildered, “Did he or did he not…threaten? me?” The persons pass the exchange off as well intentioned and think that his presentation may need some work. They deny the feeling of doubt that has been sparked, the uneasiness of the exchange and forget about it. As the bully toys with them, he sends mixed signals, makes promises that he cannot keep eventually leaving behind a trail of disappointment and disgust.
This bully has much more power vested in him than I do, but I do what I can. I have reported him. I ask his victims to trust themselves and to go with their gut feeling on the exchange. I ask them to think of what they have seen and heard before about this person and to factor this in. I encourage them to look for patterns and come to a conclusions based on their experiences. I ask them to document their experiences so that there is a record.
I was angry because I was feeling powerless against this person, thinking that I have not done enough. Now, my anger is gone. I have been doing my bits for the victims. I have been consistent in my message and telling them that they are not alone. I will keep doing what I can, standing in my power, working within my sphere of influence. I will continue to agitate and continue to tell others how to treat with him so that the impact of his behaviour is limited.
How do you deal with bullies?

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2 thoughts on “Bullies are with us

  1. Dear Maxine,

    I was in a meeting yesterday where felt powerless and definitely the person chairing the meeting was bullying everyone. I have been angry since yesterday and was wondering how to come to terms with such people who use their power of position to bully others.

    Regards
    Jalaja

  2. Jalaja. Thanks for reaching out. You are still powerful, even in the face of a bully. It’s so good to listen to the anger since it always tells us what we need. I accept that some people are bullies and it is not my responsibility to change them. My responsibility is to my feelings and to keep doing what I beleive is right even in the face of such behaviour.

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