The first quarter of March 2015 is officially over and I have not set any goals for the year. That is not like me – usually I set a list of goals and diligently achieve them. This year none of that.
The first three months of the year are over and I do not have a routine. I continue to live in holiday mode – going with the flow, trying new things and doing what I want when I want.
I have been lacking discipline for the year 2015 since I have not been following any routine. All the things that I did in 2014 bore me, they enervate me and no longer excite me.
For 2015, I have been living a day by day existence, showing up for commitments, not doing much and sleeping lots.
Sleep is the only thing that I am doing routinely, regularly and at times inappropriately. My body is not interested in staying up and my brain refuses to engage. In the midst of this slumberous state, I am ungrounded, floating, suspended, out of touch, curious and impatient.
Instinctively, I know that my body and brain are preparing themselves for something big. They know that something is coming and are getting ready to meet it head on. They are telling me to be patient, stay in awareness and to be observant. They caution me to leave this one to them, follow their lead, to rest and prepare.
I have to surrender, I cannot make any plans, since I am not in control.
I accept that there will be no routine for 2015, I accept that I am required to live without discipline until something else evolves. In this foreign state where nothing makes sense, I dare not resist. I will follow the lead of the body and the mind, I will sleep and rest, go with the flow and see what happens next
What are you resisting?
discipline: training to act in accordance with rules; drill:.activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training:1.
routine – a customary or regular course of procedure;
commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity: