I met with my friend of many years and explained how a past situation impacted upon me and the way that I related to her. She responded that she was happy that I spoke about it since she often wondered how I felt but could not broach the subject.
I explained that I often would not speak up when something was bothering me. Even though, I would not lie when asked a direct question I would not otherwise offer unsolicited truth. She appreciated my honesty and indicated that it was the first time that she clearly understood what I was saying and how I felt. She then thanked me for my openness.
We sat in silence for a long time then finally began to pull together what we wanted of our relationship and how we wanted to proceed.
That conversation brought us closure as it wrapped up an issue that spread between us, keeping us on the periphery of each other for the last five years. The issue was nothing major, it was just a spill that we never cleaned up.
Like the patina on the brass pot, once the issues were rubbed off, our friendship was left to shine again.
As we wrapped up the outstanding we took our relationship a step forward in the same direction, at the same time.
Closure does not have to end a relationship. It can be the resolution of a particular issue, the wrapping up of the outstanding. Closure can change a relationship. It can signal the beginning of something truer, more honest and more open. Closure can end a relationship when there is nothing below the patina to shine.
As I continue to pursue open and honest relationships I expect to keep closing issues as and when they arise, to discover what relationships will shine.
What do you need to close?