For the last two weeks I have been watching an old folder of music. I thumbed through the folder many times, but I could not bring myself to play any of the music. This weekend I finally opened the folder and played some of the music.
I registered that I had not listened to music in years, at least not my music. I listen to radio sparingly and to other people’s selections, halfheartedly. Never to the music that I love.
I remember clearly the day that I stopped listening to this music. Six years ago as I left my apartment two guys held me up at gunpoint, took my car keys and rolled away with my car. They had a sense of empathy about it, as they reassured me,“You are safe. We just came for the car.”
I lost most of my music in that car that day. Though I have made many attempts to rebuild my collection or start a new one I could not bring myself to do it. I admit that when I found this collection of music I was afraid to play it. I was fearful of dealing with the memory of the loss and what created the loss.
Six years after my stomach hurts and my chest tightens when I think of being carjacked. I am aware that I lost much more than my music on that day.
Six years after that event I can listen and enjoy my old music. With that singular act I have reclaimed some of which I lost during the carjack.
What have you lost? How can you reclaim it?