For Auntie Ursula

We put my aunt to rest today.
I remember her very well, she was always stylish and loved to kiss. As a kid I would squirm when she called for her kiss. I would reluctantly approach her and she would hold me firmly by both shoulders and plant a big one on our cheek. She must have enjoyed it, because she did it often enough. I don’t know if it was the kiss or the closeness that I did not like. She was one of those people I wanted to admire from far. I did not want to get too close to see any tarnish. I wanted to stay in the magic of her fanciness.
She was a stylish one, she stepped in ladylike style, back straight, poised and confident. I can almost see her talking to my mom and I can hear her laughter when they hit a high note
I heard all the stories of her life as told by the adults around me and I saw a woman with big dreams. She wanted something different from what she knew and what was expected of her and she went for it. She went big until she could go no more. When her chips were down, she kept on going. From her I learnt to nurture and honour my champagne taste while living on mauby money.
It was she who told me the truth without giving me advice when I was eight. I remember her looking at me straight in the face as she said it, no sugar coating, and no chaser. In two sentences she told me all that I needed to know and explained what I did not understand. It was the first time in my life that I felt seen and heard by an adult without saying anything. She saw that I was in need and gave me what was needed – a message that I still hold close to my heart.
As she lay in her coffin and people took their last looks, I declined to view. I will keep her as I remember her beautiful, flawless skin, laughing, stylish, movie star looks and big dreams.
She was my aunt.

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